Rewriting Your Story Is Rewriting Your Future
How I’m preparing for an ambiguous future
We tend to believe our past defines us. And, there is a little truth in that but not in the way you’d think. In spite of what happens to us, there is always an opportunity to rewrite that story and create a new ending.
The narrative we tell ourselves, like the hardships we’ve endured or the mistakes we’ve made, often feels set in stone. Theses experiences pile up to become an identity. We know this to be true because the easiest way to get to know someone is to listen to the stories they tell about themselves.
“I’ve never been a creative person. My teachers didn’t like my drawings.”
“I’m very stubborn. I think I get that from my father.”
“I can’t imagine how I’d step away from [insert career path] at this stage in my life.”
“This is just the way I am.”
“Ever since my [insert special person] died I’ve not been able to imagine a future for myself.”
But the truth is, the moment we decide to rewrite our story, we also rewrite our future. If you can change your story, you can change just about anything in your life.
The Power of Narrative
Every day, we subconsciously reinforce a narrative about who we are. You know that little voice in your head that narrates your life? Yeah, that asshole. This narrative shapes our decisions, our beliefs, and ultimately, our trajectory. If we see ourselves as someone who always struggles, we subconsciously seek confirmation of that identity. If we believe we are unworthy of love, we find ways to push people away. If we think of ourselves as “stuck,” we resist change. We can train our brains to ignore good things even when they are standing right in front of us.
Realizing that the story we’re telling isn’t the only version is a powerful awakening. Not only is it only one version, but it’s very often a version that’s not helping. Our past experiences are just one draft of an ever-evolving script. They can be helpful in explaining the past, but they are terrible at describing the future you probably want.
Expanding Ourselves
At the core of all of us is a collection of experiences, lessons, cultural preferences, societal stories and a lot of bias. How and where you grow up becomes the background to your stories. These background stories can be helpful, or disastrous. Having grown up in Apartheid South Africa in the 70’s and 80’s I can say first-hand that some cultural stories don’t work.
But, at the core of my own experience was all those weird and wonderful things that happened in those crazy decades. And while I’ve chosen not to become the things my grandparents were, I cherish their lessons and preserve their memories so I can expand beyond that story.
The logo of my latest adventure, Second Harvest, is two concentric circles. The inner circle represents the core stories we carry with us. The expanded circle represents the new stories we can create. The new stories are informed, but not defined by the inner stories. Our life can honor our past but that past need not be our identity.
Living In The Story of Now
Writing your story isn’t just about remembering your past. Your story is not a memoir. Neither, is your story a hallucination of the future. It’s both the acknowledgement of the path you’ve walked and a vision for the path you’re still going to walk, bit it’s lived now.
Between the past and the future is that eternal now. The past is just a memory, and the future is just an idea, but the present is the moment in which you bring those together and manifest what you want. Your story has to be told in the present tense.
That is why stories of who you were are not helpful. Telling yourself you were a great high school athlete or top of your class in college says nothing about your present. Thse are just stories of someone that used to exist. Rewriting your story means offering up a version of yourself that lives in this moment.
And this moment.
And this.
The Threshold of Change
There’s a moment, often disguised as confusion, frustration, stagnation, or discomfort, when we recognize that the story we’ve been living no longer fits. This is the threshold of change. This is the space between who we were and who we are becoming.
The problem is that when we feel the most trapped, it’s often because one part of us is ready to move forward while another part is still gripping the old narrative. This tension isn’t a sign of failure; it’s proof that transformation is already underway.
Writing a New Narrative
As I’ve said, rewriting your story isn’t about denying the past. It’s about reclaiming the power to shape what comes next. Here’s how:
1. Identify the Old Story
Pay attention to the beliefs and phrases you repeat to yourself. Get those narratives out of the dark recesses of your head so they can be seen in the stark light of day. Write down the old stories so you can see them. See them for what they are; an old and tired version of you that no longer serves you. Ask yourself, “Are these stories serving me, or are they reinforcing a version of me that no longer aligns with where I want to be?”
2. Challenge Limiting Beliefs
The biggest obstacle to change isn’t external — it’s the belief that change isn’t possible. Millions of people change every day. My own father chose to break a long cycle of alcoholism in his family. The family belief that they were all just part of that story became untenable for him and he rewrote alcohol out of his story. Ask yourself: “What if this belief isn’t true? What if the version of me that felt stuck was simply a character I’m outgrowing?
3. Embrace Discomfort as Growth
Change is uncomfortable because it demands that we move beyond familiarity. But discomfort isn’t a sign to stop — it’s a signal that you’re stretching into something new. Confusion is learning. Ask yourself, “Is this frustration I’m feeling pulling me forward or holding me back?”
4. Rewrite Your Narrative in Real Time
Start telling a new story about yourself. Instead of saying, I’m someone who never takes risks, shift it to, I’m learning to trust myself and take new opportunities. Speak about yourself as if you are already becoming the person you want to be. Live in the now.
5. Take Action Aligned with the New Story
Your future isn’t rewritten by thoughts alone; it’s shaped by action. If your new story is one of courage, take a step that reflects that courage. If it’s a story of self-love, practice treating yourself with the kindness you once reserved for others.
Becoming Who You Imagine
The most limiting belief of all is that who we have been is who we must always be. But the reality is, we are constantly evolving. The future isn’t something that happens to us — it’s something we create through the story we choose to tell.
When you rewrite your story, you don’t just change how you see yourself. You change what you make possible. You shift the choices you make, the risks you take, the relationships you nurture. And in doing so, you step into a future that once seemed impossible — a future that was waiting for you all along.
So, what will you write as the next chapter of your story?
Update: Along with Devon McDonald and Bernhard Schluga, I’ll be hosting a 5-day retreat at the I AM ESCAPE Retreat and hotel, in Austria on 8th-12th July, 2025. Entitled, Second Harvest, this retreat is for individuals and couples navigating a major life shift, whether personal or professional (or both), who are ready to leverage their experiences, wisdom, and resources to create a life of deeper meaning, fulfillment, and alignment. You can learn more or apply here.
